How to Practice Sexual Fitness
Sexual fitness is an innovative construct applied to men, women, and couples. Single, married, dating, gay, or heterosexual adults can learn how to practice and attain sexual fitness. Becoming sexually fit has nothing to do with a person's sexual orientation or relationship status. Even age has no bearing on this practice. Thoughts, feelings, actions, and perceptions are all involved in this exciting concept. Sexual fitness is a state of mind combined with actions of the body. If practiced correctly, the art of sexual fitness impacts science as extensive clinical studies have proven the physiological benefits related to a healthy sex life.
Similar to physical fitness, sexuality has everything to do with attitude and nothing to do with capacity. A perfect metaphor is "like riding a bike." The initial stages of learning to ride a bike requires effort, persistence, physical and mental focus, and determination. Once achieved, a person never loses this ability and merely needs to refresh their skill set even after time has elapsed from riding. Sexual fitness is based on the exact same concepts. The ultimate decision is deciding what benefits are sought in the pursuit of sexual fitness. Using the metaphor above, the choice becomes whether to engage in leisure weekend bike rides through the park or become the proverbial next "Lance Armstrong." The definition and practice of sexual fitness will help make this decision.
Sexual fitness is defined as a threshold a person reaches after they have applied consistent effort, practice, and determination in the realm of optimal sexual health. The endeavor to reach a state of sexual mastery requires psychological motivation, education, and implementation of specific physical skills. An athlete becomes proficient at his/her sport by engaging in physical and mental practice leading to dexterity and mastery of his/her sport activity. A bodybuilder consistently studies weightlifting methods, exercise technology, and nutritional requirements to optimize his/her results. Reaching the state of sexual fitness follows the same dynamics required for physical fitness.
Once this state of fitness is reached, the goal becomes sustaining this threshold throughout the lifespan or until choosing otherwise. Sexual fitness is made up of two complimentary concepts. The first concept is defined as general fitness. General sexual fitness is a state achieved after engaging in the persistent pursuit of becoming aware then instituting the art and science of healthy sexuality. People who exercise correctly reach physical fitness far quicker. For example, proper low impact yoga training will yield the same physiological results as high impact physical training.
This style of fitness is achieved by correctly learning and practicing sexual techniques which will arouse one self and the opposing partner. If a partner is not involved, the goal becomes learning and consistently practicing sexual techniques necessary to arouse one self. The methods required for reaching this state of fitness involves the second concept called specific fitness. This fitness concept is the initiation of behaviors and tasks oriented towards the increased probability to reaching and maintaining sexual fitness. Physical fitness is typically achieved through exercise, proper nutrition, adequate rest, and a motivated demeanor. Sexual fitness is achieved in the exact same fashion.
Endeavors implemented by people seeking defined physical attributes or dexterity in a particular sport requires motivation fueled by a belief of necessity. These motivating beliefs are the same for attaining sexual fitness. A belief of necessity for sexual mastery becomes the modus operandi. Optimal sexual living is a necessity of life is the belief structure and the motivating force for attainment of this belief is the inspiration. Without this belief for need reduces the chances a person will be successful in their fitness regimen. Successful athletes, bodybuilders, and sports enthusiasts have all communicated the virtues of becoming motivated using a belief of necessity as their psychological fuel. Advanced levels of aptitude acquired by men and women in their chosen field of sport have all been achieved via a belief of necessity.
Fitness, whether sexual or physical, is defined as a measure of efficient functioning. A person who is sexually fit is efficient in their capacity to think, feel, and behave in a sexual manner without shame, embarrassment, or hidden agendas of falsely boosting their ego or self-esteem. People who reach and practice this style of fitness are more likely to function efficiently in all aspects of their perceptual world. These fortunate individuals are more confident, physically ill less often, and manage stressful events more successfully. Sexual fitness is an achieved state of being allowing people to perform better in every action they engage in. Having this capability affords person to feel confident in all situations whether a partner is involved or not.
Men and women can attain sexual fitness through participating in psychological, physical, and educational exercises. The first step is recognizing and fully accepting this fitness as one of the most important facets of achieving a healthy lifestyle. For a man, fully accepting sexual fitness as a way of life is concluding he is not born and/or genetically endowed to be a sexual master. Men accept their sexual mastery exercise program by realizing they have plenty to learn and their genital region is not the center of the universe. Women reach the first step of sexual fitness by giving themselves permission to think about and practice sexual pursuits. Confusing women in most cultures is what has been termed the "Madonna Whore" complex. Women are socialized and encouraged to behave sexually uninhibited behind closed doors and docile, virginal subjects in public at the same time. It is an unfortunate standard set forth by living in a patriarchal society. For women, they need to first identify this double standard exists. Second, initiating efficient this fitness starts by placing societal distortions in the archived files of outdated history.
Once a man or woman is psychologically motivated to engage in this concept of fitness program, the immediate next step becomes the task of obstacle identification. Preparation for inevitable obstacles is vital to sexual fitness attainment. Obstacles and stressful life events are guaranteed to present as impediments to proper sexual fitness functioning. The pressure, stress, and anxieties of daily living can easily de-escalate a person's motivation to prioritize sexual fitness. Events which dissuade men and women from engaging in tasks directed at achieving sexual fitness can occur quickly or slow and gradual without the person being aware they have become derailed from their fitness regimen. Stressful life events and environmental obstacles are potential impediments for all goal attainment. Accepting obstacles exist and creating techniques to insulate one self becomes the goal.
A simple tip to lessen the probability of losing sight of this type of fitness is a daily reminder plan. Since most women shower or take baths every day, making a conscious effort to spend a couple minutes while bathing is a prime opportunity to practice cognitive sexual fitness. During this brief period of privacy, think about a sexual fantasy. If self stimulation ensues is fine, but not required. The point of this exercise is a cognitive one aimed at stimulating a thought process. An easy to remember technique for creating a stimulating sexual fantasy is using the "5 W's" used by journalists and media when creating interesting stories. Who, What, When, Where, and How is the trick of their trade. Formulate a sexual fantasy having these 5 elements involved. Practicing this method makes the sexual fantasy both stimulating and enjoyable at the same time.
The daily reminder plan tip can be practiced by men but a chosen daily environment may need to be altered. A significant percentage of men are not as fastidious in showering or bathing daily as women are. For men who do not bath daily, a tip is to think about sexual fitness while in transit traveling to work, school, or any other responsibilities part of the daily structure. Women are recommended to think about sexual fantasies daily, but men are recommended to think about the complete opposite during this cognitive sexual exercise. Men are advised to think about technically sexual matters. During this daily cognitive exercise, men can think about the components of arousal, intimacy skills, and ways of effectively communicating his passion to his partner. If not dating or in a relationship, men can still think about these subjects adding the future tense about a day when dating or in a significant relationship. Men and women who spend several minutes daily on sexual areas described above have a higher probability of continuing to practice this fitness.
Cardiovascular activity and regular physical exercise supports the growth of heart muscles, thereby increasing the speed and volume of blood bringing nutrients to the rest of the body. A physically fit person maintains body system nutrient absorption at an optimal level. The result of optimal nutrient absorption translates into stronger anatomical systems and quicker curative processes. Health and fitness of the body can be determined by regularly evaluating nutritional habits, patterns of lifestyle, types of food consumed, and frequency of physical exercise. A monitored physical fitness exercise plan is essential for keeping the body fine tuned despite lifestyle, age or physical abilities. Physical fitness helps people maintain and sustain a focused frame of mind by boosting mental sharpness, perceptual clarity, and greater concentration. In relationship to sexual mastery, the same need for active monitoring and consistent focus applies. All the physical and psychological benefits of being physically fit parallel sexual oriented fitness. The only differences between these two realms are regions of the body focused upon and areas stimulated within the brain. To practice sexual fitness means giving the sensual self equal time and attention as delegated to physical health.
Once a man or woman has made sexual oriented fitness a priority and consistently practicing daily cognitive sexual exercises reducing the potential of losing focus, the next step is active practice and education. The education and practice of sexual fitness is multifaceted and sexual exercising the mind and body has many avenues. The goal of education is spending time engaged in academic pursuits learning about sexual anatomy, non-genital sexual stimulation, communication skills building, nutritional foods and supplements optimizing sexual prowess, physical exercises which boost sexual functioning, and any subjects related to the art and science of sex.
The goal of education is consistently accessing all forms of study in the pursuit of becoming adept at knowing the sexual self and the other gender when warranted. For women, subjects for study should include how society sends mixed messages to women regarding being a sexual being, the impact of past traumatic experiences on sexuality, sexual fulfillment techniques, and benefits of living as a sexual creature. For men, subjects of study should include arousal skills building, non-genital sexual stimulation techniques, communication skills building, and any subjects related to how sex is not sole mission for conquest. Education is crucial to sexual fitness. Radio talk shows, relationship expert seminars, internet surfing, and many other formats for education are available for consumptions. At the same time as engaging in education, the sexually fit adult practices physical sexual exercises.
Self stimulation is one exercise which men and women can engage in whether single, dating, or in a relationship. If religious and/or moral reasons prevent someone from direct genital stimulation, than indirect sexual stimulation by not touching their genital region is just as effective. The active practice of self stimulation, whether direct or indirect, serves the goal of developing self-awareness in the realm of learning to identify regions of the body which initiate arousal. During these sexual exercises, it is paramount for success to practice self stimulation void of being preoccupied by life stressors or thoughts of time management restrictions. If making this type of fitness a priority, then time management should rarely be a reason to not practice exercises. The frequency of self stimulation is not the objective, but the consistent conscious effort to do so is of greater value. The combination of a conscious effort to schedule self stimulation along with consistent frequency is the best formula. It is not the quantity of self stimulation episodes, but the quality and benefits gained from each event.
For men and women dating, in relationships, or married, practicing sexual fitness adds an exciting additional dimension. This dimension is the potential luxury one experiences when a loved one becomes as an active participant in sexual fitness training. Just as physical fitness and sports are far more enjoyable and invigorating when there is the social element of others involved; the same principle applies to couples. Having a partner to agree in prioritizing sexual oriented fitness is the ultimate tandem team activity. The team approach has a vast array of positive benefits. The team approach to sexual fitness offers crucial dynamics not afforded to the solo participant. One benefit is the potential for deeper intimate connections.
As mentioned before, sexual fitness can be achieved as a sole individual and does not require others to be active participants. Although this fact is true, the primary instincts residing in the human condition is the need for social attachments. In a relationship, both the instinctual needs for social connection and practice of sexual exercises culminate to become an extraordinary aspect of quality living. The guidelines in relationships are exactly the same as individual goals when seeking to achieve and sustain sexual oriented fitness. The advantage being part of a team approach involves the perceived satisfaction of two people endeavoring together working to attain sexual fitness. When embarking in becoming sexually fit, there are three prime advantages increasing the potential for achievement. First, the pair in tandem makes the decision together to prioritize their regimen. Second, they act as encouraging coaches for each other when stressful and distracting environmental events present as obstacles to succeeding. Third and most rewarding, they have a plethora of sexual activities to engage in ranging from sexual exercises to long discussions on sexual topics.
Sexual fitness is both a state of being and a series of tasks and behaviors practiced on a consistent basis to remain within the state of sexual fitness. To be sexually fit means a person is psychologically secure about thinking about sexual topics, having sexual desires, and confident about their sexual prowess. Once at and past the threshold of this fitness, a person enters this state of being experiencing a higher quality of life. People who are sexually fit tend to have fewer psychological problems, less medical complications, healthier relationships, and a greater overall sense of self. This goal walks hand in hand with physical fitness. Regular exercise, proper nutrition, adequate rest, and regular physical activity considerably increase the potential for reaching this fitness. The converse is also just as applicable. Men and women who are engaged in sexual oriented fitness have a higher probability of engaging in tasks leading to physical fitness
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli is a New York State licensed psychologist and certified forensic consultant. His areas of expertise include forensic psychology, human sexuality, heath/fitness, relationships/dating and psychiatric/psychological issues.
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