Total Power Exchange - Giving Your All, All the Time
For some, a D/s relationship comes into play only behind closed doors. It can be something sweet and soft, or hard and potent. But, once they come out of the bedroom, the fun ends. Conversely, others choose to recognize it as a way of life. For them, it is who and what they are. They live and breathe by the requirements and privileges that a complete immersion in the D/s lifestyle brings about. One thing that these two seemingly disperate approaches to BDSM have in common is Total Power Exchange or TPE.
What is TPE exactly? Typically, when two consenting adults engage in an activity centered around BDSM, they go into it with predefined parameters set in order to protect both parties and provide a buffer in case something becomes too uncomfortable or potentially unsafe or harmful. At the core of any particular relationship or activity in BDSM, power exchange exists. The submissive knowingly allows themselves to be divested of power and authority. In return, the Dominant works to maintain the submissive's health, happiness and pleasure even as the submissive strives to please his or her Dominant. Total Power Exchange takes this a step further by stripping away the aforementioned buffer. There are no safe words, no contracts, no pre-negotiation, et cetera. It should be stressed that the Dominant cannot simply take control on a whim, it must be agreed to by the submissive. To do otherwise would be unkind at best and abusive at worst.
The term 'Total Power Exchange' is something of a misnomer, however, and is open to interpretation and debate. We are humans, not machines or intangible concepts that can be altered or changed depending on need, belief or requirement. Humans have limits, both emotional and physical, which, on the surface, TPE seems to ignore outright. Therefore, it is the responsibility of the Dominant to exercise care to the point of surgical precision in fact, when administering to his or her submissive. While the submissive is of course capable of independent thought, all physical and some abstract aspects (e.g. freedom) of their life are overseen by the Dominant. Thus, another name for this scenario could be Consensual Slavery. This does not mean that the submissive has his or her life micromanaged by the Dominant. Being told when to shower, when and what to eat, when to sleep, when to awaken - these things would quickly wear on even the most devoted submissive, though it 'can' be done if that really is what is wanted and agreed to by both parties.
Those who engage in BDSM, and by extension TPE only intermittently have less an issue with the next point, because they can 'turn it on and off' at will. However those who choose to live it as a permanent fixture in their lives must contend with influences beyond even the Dominant's control. Examples of this are the necessities of life, or the fact that family members and co-workers probably will not understand or approve of what the couple does. However, if there is one thing that a committed couple in a D/s relationship can do well, it is adapt. Flexibility is one of the most important things, both inside and outside of the relationship, wherever its boundaries may lie.
Total Power Exchange is not for everyone. It is up to both the Dominant and the submissive to figure out what it is they want. Yes, interplay is as important as patience, love and devotion. The Dominant may have the final say, but, and this especially matters if the Dom and the sub live together, about how things go in the home and in the relationship. The couple should also allow for open dialogue regarding whatever aspect of their lives comes up - from how to raise the children if there are any, how to care for the pets, where to put the throw rugs to the particulars of what goes on in the bedroom.
by Susan M ~ wealthybdsmdating.com
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